MatchMakers
by bethviolet
Summary: Being the only married couple with a group of relationship phobic friends is hard, but for Bella and Edward it gives them a chance to play match-makers and meddle in each of their friends lives to teach them the joy of love and commitment. ON TEMP HIATUS


**Match-Makers.**

**a/n: just a little story I thought of. I have no idea when it's gonna be updated but if it gets a good response I'll try and update as often as I can.**

**Chapters will change points of view, between all 6 main characters. **

**Chapter 1 – Newly Wed's on speed.**

**Em. P.O.V.**

"AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF COMING BACK, YOU TWO TIMING SON OF A BITCH!" she screamed at the top of her voice "AND TAKE THIS TWO BIT TRAMP WITH YOU!" and pushed Lauren?...Lucy?...Lilly?...It's defiantly an L, anyway she pushes her out the house.

"Come on, Emma! I didn't know we were exclusive" I reasoned, 'cos, well we'd never said we could only sleep with each other.

"Emmett, it's kinda a given when you asked me to be your girlfriend" Emma yells through the door.

Well this sucks. I'd moved in with Emma because I couldn't afford to rent an apartment alone. I was looking for a room, she was looking for a room-mate and she's hot. It was a given.

We started sleeping together about...two hours after I moved in. I've lived there for almost two years, and I honestly thought we were just long time fuck buddies. Guess we weren't

well, now I feel a little guilty about going to all my other ladies.

I sigh "come on L...you" I hold a hand out to her, to help her up. She's naked except for a pair of red panties, so I hand her my jacket.

See? I can be a gentleman.

"well...bye" I give her a wave and set off walking towards my little brother's house.

"wait!" L yelled "you want my number? We could maybe go out some time?"

"erm...well you see" I hesitated "I just got out of a relationship like...two seconds ago. I need time to heel" I wave my arm towards Emma's front door, and send her a sad smile.

"but we were just..." she trailed off, her eyes narrowed.

"yeah I know. Crazy right?" is all I can think of saying before I head off the Edward's house.

Edward lives three streets over from me. He's my little brother, younger than my by two years, and yet the pussy is already married. He married his long-time girlfriend Bella four months ago, and in my opinion it's the biggest mistake of his life. Don't get me wrong, I love Bella like a real little sister. She's awesome, It's just...I think they're a little young.

I mean, who wants to be tied down at 21? I'm 23 and it's the furthest thing from my mind. But he seems happy...

it's then that I realise what I'm asking for, by living with my brother and sister in law. Edward and Bella have always been the...sickly sweet romantic pair that literally can't get enough of each other, and after they married it just seemed to get worse and worse.

Edward and Bella are just starting there life together, they live in a little two bedroomed house. It's not very big, but it's all they can afford right now.

Maybe I shouldn't ask to stay in their spare room. I mean I don't wanna have to listen to them going at it all night long. But then sense seeps in. they've been married four months, they probably hate each other by now.

Smiling at my conclusion, I pick up my pace.

I turn up at their house, twenty minutes later. After ringing the bell, I want for someone to answer. A few seconds later my little bro, opens the door.

"hey bro" I smile at he.

His eyes narrow slightly "hey Em, what's up?"

"I know this is sorta last minute, but...could I bunk here tonight?" I ask, rubbing the back of my neck.

"well...sure. Did something happen with Emma?"

"yeah we...had a...difference of opinion" I hedge slightly. My brother and I have always had a different idea when it comes to relationships. He's been with the same girl since he was 17, and the longest I've been with a girl is two weeks.

"you didn't bring any stuff with you?" he notices as he lets my past him, and into the house.

"well..."

"so she kicked you out" he sighs and I can feel disappointment rolling off of him. I knew he thought that me and Emma were the real deal, but we're not.

"come on, we're just having dinner. Have you eaten?" he asks as we begin to make out way to their dining room.

"yeah I'm not hungry"

As we enter the dining room, he takes his place at the table which is opposite Bella. He picks up his fork with one hand, and grabs Bella's hand with his other, as they gaze into each other's eyes.

"oh shit! Did I interrupt date night or something?" I actually felt a little guilty about it.

"hi Em. No it's not date night. Date night's Fridays night"

"and Saturday" Edward finishes off for her.

"and sometimes Sunday's" Bella giggles.

God they're really disgusting.

"but the candles" I point to the two candles that are on the table.

They both stare at me blankly and shrug slightly.

"the romantic music?"

still blank stares.

"the flowers?"

not a thing.

"the twinkly light?"

"Emmett, we're just having dinner" Edward finally speaks up, his tone is the same you would use when taking to a small child.

"right...well..." I kinda stand there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

"come sit down Emmett" Bella says, pulling out one of the spare seats for me. I sigh before dropping into the chair.

"Baby, Emmett's gonna be staying here tonight" Edward tells his wife, and presses a kiss onto her hand.

"oh Emmett" Bella sighs sadly, her big brown eyes peering at me "what happened with Emma?"

"we...we broke up"I mumble.

"oh no!" Bella whispers, before hugging me "Emmett I'm so sorry. Do you wanna talk about it?" she looks more upset about the break up then I am.

"erm...well it hurts a little too much right now" I lied. Bella seemed to buy it but Edward sure as hell didn't.

"you cheated on her, didn't you?"

I couldn't be bothered lying any more, so I just sighed and shrugged.

"god Emmett, you can be suck a jackass sometimes" he shook his head "don't you wanna find you sole-mate?" he wasn't looking at me any more. He was kissing his wife's hand again, his eyes glued to hers. It wasn't just one kiss, he was now peppering kisses along the back of her hand and was travelling up her wrist. Not wanting to see where this was leading to, I cleared my throat.

I swear these two are worse than any other married couple I've ever met. They're worse than newly wed's. They're like newly weds on speed.

"there's nothing like falling in love Emmett" Bella sighs, giving her husband flirty eyes. I felt sick just being in the same room as these two.

"look can we please just drop it" and eventually they do. I politely ask them about their bar and they both gush as they explain how much profit it's bringing in and how perfect it is.

Edward and I had inherited a couple of grand when our grandfather died. I put the money towards my car, Edward put his in their shared nest egg to buy their dream bar.

After they finish eating, we go and watch t.v. They have one couch and one arm chair. I grab the arm chair, as they cuddle on the sofa. He's laid down, with his back sitting up and Bella snuggles into his chest. Edward let's Bella pick the movie and she chooses transformers.

It was only about twenty minutes into the movie when I could hear the noises and little moans of them making out. Thank god we'd switched all the lights off 'cos I don't wanna see what position they're in now.

"I'm going to bed" I mutter after having had my limit of listening to their foreplay.

"do you wanna borrow some clothes?" Edward asks.

"nah, I sleep naked" I reply as I head up the stairs and laugh as I hear Ed mumble about burning the sheets.

It sucks being forced to go to bed when your not tired at all. There's no t.v in this room, and I've brought nothing with me. So I just stare at the ceiling.

I'm not sure what time it is, when I hear Edward and Bella go to bed. I can hear them talking as they walk up the stairs but it's nothing but mumbles. However, evidently the bedroom walls are extremely thin, as I can hear them all too clearly as they enter their room.

"now Mrs. Cullen" my brother speaks as soon as the bedroom door closes "I believe you were showing me some extremely sexy panties before we were interrupted" his voice is lower and horse.

God, is that my brother's sex voice? I could live my whole life not knowing that.

"shhh, Edward" Bella giggles slightly, and I really don't wanna know what he's doing to make her giggle "Emmett might hear"

"He went to bed an hour ago, he'll be dead to the world." so not true little bro. I briefly contemplate knocking on the wall to let them know I can hear them, but it is there home, I have no right to ask them to shut up. At least they waiting till they though I was asleep.

"I'm wearing my sexiest lingerie for you, Mr Cullen" God! Now I can hear Bella's sex voice. Putting a pillow over my head I hope to God it drowns them out.

"me too" he jokes making her giggle.

They're quiet for a few moments and all I can hear are faint breathy moans and a few 'Oh God's'. I though I was home free for a moment. You know, maybe they were just having a bit of a grope, but once again my dreams were crushed.

"yes Edward!" Oh God Bella, please shut the hell up "Just like that...oh!...yes,yes,yes...mmm baby don't stop"

"you like it when I eat your pussy baby?" Jesus Christ Edward.

"YES!"

"you like it when I suck your pussy? When you cum in my mouth"

"oh God...EDWARD!" shit! I'd just heard my sister in law cum. That's all different shades of wrong.

After a few seconds, they start up _again_.

"you ready for me, baby?" God, do they ever sleep?

"mmm...I'm always ready for you, sexy"

I can't hear much after that. Just a few mumbled moans, and I can tell it's 'cos they're kissing. I could imagine my brother being a pussy like that. I never kiss during sex. It's one of my rules. I'm not a kisser. I'm not in it to kiss, I'm in it to get off.

I sigh a breath of relief, I can still hear them but not nearly as loud. Snuggling down in the covers my eyes close, and I can feel myself drifting asleep.

Thump.

_What the fuck?_

Thump "God, yes"

Oh for fuck sake.

Thump Thump Thump.

Is that...?

Thump Thump "Oh Edward"

Thump "Bella you feel...God you feel amazing, baby"

Thump Thump Thump

Is that the bed hitting the fucking wall?

Thump Thump Thump

I can see particles falling off of the wall in my room, the wall that they're bed's obvious hitting against.

Thump "Fuck yes!"

I groan loudly. They're gonna put the fucking wall through.

I hadn't realised how loud my groan had been, until they had both gone quiet.

Of course if I can hear them, they can hear me.

"shhh..Edward stop" Bella whispers, giggling _again_.

"he'll go back to sleep in a second" Edward was laughing as well. How thin must that wall be if I can hear them whispering.

Obviously unable to resist, they start up again. I have to suffer through ten more minutes of moans, Bella coming twice before my brother finally gets off.

They're panting even louder than they were moaning, but that soon dies out.

_Finally _able to sleep my eyes shut, and I can feel sleep over coming me.

"I love you so much, you know that?" Jesus, I have to listen to their pillow talk now?

"I love you more" she responds.

"that's impossible" his voice is once again mumbles and I pray that they're not starting up again.

"you're my whole world" My brother is such a sap. "I'm nothing without you"

"your my sole-mate" I can hear that weird sucking noise of them kissing.

It's finally silent, and this time it lasts longer than a few seconds. After five minutes have passed and I haven't heard a single peep, I know they've fallen asleep. So I can finally get the sleep I desperately want.

XXX

_Knock Knock._

"hey bro" Edward's voice comes from behind the door. "Bella's making breakfast if you want some. I'm leaving some sweats outside the door in case you wanna change" I moan at the thought of getting up. I'd hardly slept last night.

I honestly didn't think it was possible for a couple to have that much sex in one night. In total I was woken up the three times they had sex, the two times he pleasured her and during, what I assume, was a blow job she was giving him.

How they were awake at 8am was actually shocking to me. I changed into my brother's sweats and made my way downstairs. I could smell bacon and hear it sizzling. As I passed the kitchen I saw Bella stood at the cooker in one of Edward's shirt, Edward had his arms around her with his face pressed into her neck. She was still fucking giggling at whatever he was whispering to her about.

These two really do make me wanna puke. I can't stay here another night.

"morning" I mumble as I make my way into their front room to watch a bit of t.v. I hear them reply the greeting but say no more.

When we'd been watching the movie in the room last night, it was dark and I couldn't really make much out, but in the daylight I can see all their photos they have. They have two large wedding pictures hung up on the wall each side of their fire place. One phone is of them both smiling at the camera, holding hands. The other is a large zoomed in image of them kissing after being pronounce husband and wife.

On the fireplace holds even more pictures. There's a few of family and friends. And I see a family picture of Ed, me, Mom and Dad and I recognise Bella and her parents on one of them.

In an individual frame is a small picture of Bella and another girl I'd never seen before. The girl was smaller than Bella with black, short, spiky hair, and I silently wondered if she had elf ears under that hair. Bella looks to be about 18 in the picture and that gets me wondering if elf ears was at their wedding.

In a matching frame is another small picture, this time it had Edward and that dick he met in college. Jasper or something. Edward and Bella went to the same College in New York and Jasper was in Edward's business class. I'd met him a few times, because he's close to Ed and B. But the guy's a complete ass hole. I'm glad that he still lives in NY and only visits a few times a year.

The next is of both Edward and Bella and yet another unidentified woman. Ed and Bell are once again kissing while blondie puts her finger in her mouth like she's gonna puke. It's a funny picture, and I know for _sure _she wasn't at the wedding, 'cos I would have remembered a hottie like her, and would have defiantly bought her breakfast, if you know what I mean.

The last picture on the fire place is one of those big frames with lots of little slots inside to make a kinda picture collage. It's all of the two of them, ranging from the 17 year old selves when they'd first started dating to more recent pictures of the happily married couple.

A chuckle behind me makes me turn away from the images. My brother has his arms across his chest and a large smirk on his face.

"My Bella loves her pictures" he laughs, eyeing the photos.

"Yeah, she took a photography course at college, right?"

"yup" he nodded

"what happened with that?" I mean the girl spent a load on the degree and now she owns a bar. Doesn't really make much sense.

"well she does it as more of a hobby now, she's happy working at the bar, but she plans to try and sell some when things settle down, you know" I didn't know what he meant, but I nodded anyway.

"so, is this your, like gang or something" I pointed to the two unidentified girls and the ass hole, even thought I knew he lived in NY.

"no, that's Jasper man. You remember him right? We met him in college?"

"oh right yeah."

"He's moving to Port. A, ya know?"

"Great" I mutter "So just these two then?" I bring his attention back to the girls.

he shook his head "we're not in a _gang_" he laughs "they don't even know each other. This is Alice. Bella met her when she was volunteering at the hospital, reading to kids" I take a closer look and see that this Alice is wearing the same shirt as Bella, with 'Volunteer' written on the front.

"you think she's cute?" he' trying to be smooth about it, but I can tell he's trying to set me up.

"not my type man. But if you like her, go for it" I turned my face so he couldn't see my smirk.

"w-what? No that's not what I.."

"it's cool man" I interrupted "I won't tell the Mrs"

"Emmett I really wasn't saying..."

"...relax man, you're too easy" I laugh and he punched my shoulder telling me I was a dick.

"well...that's Rosalie. She's works at the bar" he pointed to blondie. Maybe I'll have to go see their bar sometime soon.

"Breakfast's ready!" Bella yells and I literally run into the kitchen. She set's down a plate in front of me and one in front of Edward, then announces she's gonna get dressed.

"you not eating, B?" I ask.

"no, I'm gonna have something later, I'm feeling a little sick" Edward's head snaps towards his wife and they share a look, that I don't get. After a moment he said "Make sure you do eat though." she nods and kisses him before going upstairs.

"so..." I began, a mouthful of egg "wanna play xbox all day?" I grin remembering the days me and my brother would spend the whole day playing video games.

"sorry can't. I need to go shopping"

I splutter, almost spitting my breakfast out "what?"

"I need to go shopping"

"why can't Bella go?"

"Because A. she's my wife, not my slave, B. she working at the bar today. And C. I'm buying her a present"

"present for what?" I ask, once again eating.

"an anniversary present"

"anniversary present? You've been married four months"

"not our wedding anniversary. It's the anniversary of the day we first met, on Friday" he answered, now eating himself.

"you celebrate more than one anniversary? What the hell do you get her for the anniversary of your first kiss?" I ask sarcastically.

"I buy her one of those big Hershey kisses" he replies, 100% serious.

"Oh my God. Are you serious? It's official, you've traded your man card in for a vagina"

"what? Because I remember dates that are important to Bella and like to buy her something to show her that those days meant something to me too? I'd rather be a pussy without a man card than alone and clearly sad, like you Em"

"I'm fine, Edward. I can get tail any time I want"

"yeah? Well I look forward to the day you realise that you've waisted your life having random fuck's than having that one special girl"

it goes awkwardly quiet after that, and the only noise is the scraping of out cutlery on the plates and Bella singing from upstairs. It doesn't take long for me to break the silence, unable to resist I ask

"what other anniversary's do you celebrate?"

"look we don't go all out for all of them. On the date of our first kiss, I buy her a Hershey kiss. On the date we first had sex, she buys some lingerie for me. One the date we first met I buy her a charm for her bracelet and for our wedding anniversary...well we haven't had one yet, but I'm sure a tradition will emerge" he smiles and it's undeniable that my little brother's happy.

And obviously crazy, if he likes this lifestyle.

Idiot.

**a/n: so...what do you think?**

**Would you rather be like Edward and Bella or single and ready to mingle like Emmett?**

**Next chap we meet Alice and see what her deal is with relationships. Here's a little preview.**

"Oh Alice what happened?" I ask, as she cries on my shoulder.

"Bella, it was a disaster." she weeps "we were on our third date and I decided that I would finally let him stay the night...you know _stay the night_" she blushes as I nod in understanding.

"we had the most perfect night, and he made love to me. It was beautiful...and then...and then" she starts sobbing loudly

"then what Alice? What did he do?" I ask, and I can see Edward watching us, from the other side of the bar.

"We were lying there, you know, after. And I couldn't help but tell him how I felt."

"which was?" I ask, not liking where this was going.

"I told him I loved him, and he ran. Butt naked, he ran away from me house. He didn't even pick up his clothes. That's the third guy who's ran away" she wails. "I know Alec was just like the others"

**I'm actually excited for Alice's. She's gonna be a total opposite to Emmett. Desperate for love, but always unsuccessful. **

**Any ways let me know what you think.**


End file.
